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Author Archives: keef
WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?
Monotonix played their last show in Austin last night. It is sad that they’re breaking up, but they’ve had a hell of a run. I pity the fool that didn’t see this band at least once.
I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS, KAISER
I made crawfish etouffee last night! IT WAS DELICIOUS also, not as hard as I thought it would be. I recommend it for any one!
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IT’S BANGED UP AND BRUISED AND IT’S ALL GONE SO RUSTY
The best class I ever took in college was a four-credit-hour lab in the political science department entitled “The Perceived Safety of Travel: Building the Perfect Car Bomb.” We covered the history, science, and technology of car bombs, from the … Continue reading
FIVE REASONS MONOTONIX IS THE BEST LIVE BAND TODAY
1. They don’t use the stage. Every time I’ve seen them– which is a lot— they always either start the show off the stage down in the audience, or start on the stage and then quickly move down into the … Continue reading
SIR THIS IS A LEGAL MATTER
At my job, one of my peripheral duties is to answer the main desk phone. This means that calls come in on an infrequent but regular basis, about one or two calls per hour, and usually from a small number … Continue reading
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BRAND-NEW LIES PART ONE
In the course of my time-traveling research into classical sculpture, I discovered that the Venus De Milo originally had flailing leather tentacles instead of carved marble arms. An intricate mechanism housed in her torso made the leather tentacles whip about … Continue reading
BLACK TEAR FALLING ON MY LAZY QUEEN
My GOD that was satisfying.